‘I value authenticity very high,’ he said.

‘Making a strong demand to someone is not something that comes naturally to me.’

This was a very interesting coaching conversation…

We had talked about core values in the previous session and being considerate was something that my client held very high in all aspects of his life.

Initially, he said that it was impossible to match this core value with making a strong demand to a direct report.

During the session, it became clear that in making a demand was in fact perfectly in line with being considerate.

He was being considerate towards himself, towards the other person who also needed a different discourse, to the whole team for whom the whole situation was becoming a burden, and to the entire organization that holds ambassadorship and teamplay high in their list of values.


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When my client realized that he could be authoritative and authentic at the same time, he experienced a huge relief and with that a lot of clarity within.

This clarity allowed him to see options that were previously undiscoverable.

And one of these options was to make a clear demand from a position of power. Not the hierarchical power that was granted to him with his managerial role.

But personal power by taking a positive action to end a long-time frustration that was taking away everyone’s energy, his and of his direct report.

In making a demand, he took responsibility for the situation, resulting in a shift in communication and in the energy of the relation with his direct report.

How about you? To what extend do you match your actions to your core values? And are you truly able to express yourself at the office?


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